The decision to get married is exciting, but it can also be a source of anxiety and stress. Many people get “cold feet” about getting married, but it’s hard to know if your fears are genuine. You may wonder if you should get married at all if it’s going to cause this much fear.

Fortunately, you can get help for your jittery pre-wedding nerves with the help of online counselors. Which online counseling service is best? We recommend ReGain for all couples, but we recommend Faithful Counseling if you want a counselor who is also a Christian. These therapists can help you clarify your feelings and build a stronger marriage.

Online premarital counseling is excellent for every couple

Online pre-engagement counseling isn’t just a good idea for people who feel anxious about their upcoming nuptials. It’s an excellent idea for any couple, even if you’re totally blissful about the prospect.

Many churches require premarital counseling for good reasons. Even when a couple is deeply in love and committed, the challenges of marriage can knock you off your feet. You may be surprised at the arguments and disagreements that come up after you’re married. Your dearly beloved spouse may act like a total stranger, and you may wonder if you made the right decision.

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These changes happen in every marriage, and premarital counseling is a good way to prepare yourselves.

Benefits of online pre-engagement counseling

Online therapy has many advantages over traditional therapy:

  • Convenience: Make appointments at the times that are convenient for you, and get therapy from the comfort of your own home.
  • Affordability: The average weekly cost of online therapy is lower than the average hourly cost of traditional therapy.
  • Ease: It takes just minutes to fill out a questionnaire and get matched to a counselor.
  • Effectiveness: More than 90% of online therapy users are happy with the help they get.
  • Privacy: Your anonymity is assured on any online counseling site.

How can online pre-engagement counseling help?

Pre-engagement counseling is an excellent time to focus on your feelings about your upcoming marriage. Addressing your fears now is the best way to be sure about this major step in your life. Therapy will help you talk openly about the sensitive issues that can derail any marriage.

You may think you can talk about these issues on your own, but many couples find it difficult. A therapist is a neutral outsider who can bring an objective, compassionate perspective to your relationship. Your counselor can give you the tools you need to communicate without arguing.

At ReGain and Faithful Counseling, you can talk with a counselor in total anonymity. You don’t even have to use your real names. The online platform makes it easy to talk about these sensitive subjects.

What are these sensitive issues? Here are some of the things you may talk about during premarital or pre-engagement counseling.

Conflict: Every couple fights, but your arguments don’t have to tear your marriage apart. Learning to fight constructively is a key technique you can learn in therapy. Your therapist can teach you how to express your needs without being hurtful or aggressive. You’ll also learn techniques for cooling off and discussing things in a constructive way.

Finances: Sex and financial matters are the biggest causes of divorce. Differences in the way you handle money cause many fights. How will you handle your finances, including regular bills and occasional splurges? What are your savings or retirement goals? Will you both work full-time? Discussing these issues now is much better than fighting about them later.

Expectations: What are your expectations for your life together? Both of you know what your ideal marriage looks like. Sharing that dream with your partner will help you bond, and it will make you see your partner’s vision clearly.

Goals: What is your goal for the marriage? What goals do you share for the future? Having shared goals and expectations gives you something to work toward together. That bond can get you through many tough times.

Intimacy: It’s difficult to talk openly about sex and intimacy. An experienced counselor can help you talk openly and honestly about it with each other.

Family: Do you plan to have children, and how many do you want? Family issues also involve your in-laws. How much time do you plan to spend with your extended family members? If there are outstanding family conflicts, you need a plan to deal with them.

Fidelity: Every couple needs to face the possibility of infidelity. About 30% of all marriages experience this problem. Most people say they consider infidelity a deal breaker, but you don’t know how you will handle it until it happens. Talking about it now will give you the chance to speak honestly with your partner.

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Will a therapist tell you not to get married

Will a therapist tell you not to get married?

No therapist or counselor can make that decision for you. Your online therapist, however, can help you spot behavior that deserves a closer look.

Destructive behavior: Is one of you addicted to a substance, frequently in legal trouble, chronically unfaithful, or otherwise engaging in dysfunctional behavior? Talking to a therapist can help you decide if you’re willing to put up with that behavior in your marriage.

Attitude: Do you have the right attitude about marriage? Does your partner? An experienced counselor can spot signs of controlling or potentially abusive behavior.

What kind of online counselors provide pre-engagement therapy?

Most therapists who offer this guidance are licensed and accredited by the state. They have advanced degrees in psychology, counseling, social work or marriage and family therapy. Some have received training and credentials from the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). They have experience working with people who are struggling with getting married, dealing with marital troubles or getting divorced.

The online counselors at ReGain and Faithful Counseling have those same qualifications. They also have a minimum of 1,000 hours of experience as marital and family therapists. These online networks do extremely careful vetting and screening of all their therapists.

Getting therapy online doesn’t mean you’re getting unqualified help. On the contrary, you’ll be getting help from a therapist who is highly qualified and knowledgeable.

 

Faithful counseling: The best option for online christian pre-engagement counseling

Faithful Counseling is the largest online network of licensed professional therapists who are practicing Christians. On this site, you will find counselors who believe in spiritual and emotional wellbeing as equally important.

These counselors combine Biblical ideals with modern, innovative approaches to pre-engagement counseling. There are other online Christian counseling networks, but we have not found any with the quality of therapists you will find here. Each counselor has signed a Statement of Faith, which you can read on the Faithful Counseling website.

How Faithful counseling works

To get started, fill out a brief questionnaire that describes what you’re looking for and what type of counselor you prefer. The online algorithm matches you with a therapist, and you can contact them right away. Finding a match usually takes a few hours, but it can sometimes take a day or two.

Communication with your counselor can take place on the phone, live online chat, live video sessions or by text message. You can choose the time and length of your appointments. While most therapists will give you a treatment plan, you can ask to discuss anything that is on your mind.

You can change your counselor any time if you don’t think they’re right for you.

Although Faithful Counseling is a Christian site, it does not provide pastoral or spiritual counseling. If you are looking for that, talk to your minister.

Cost of Faithful counseling

Faithful Counseling is a subscription-based service. You will pay from $60 to $90 a week. It is billed monthly to your credit card, debit card or PayPal.

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Is Faithful counseling the best choice for christian pre-engagement counseling

Is Faithful counseling the best choice for christian pre-engagement counseling?

At Faithful Counseling, your therapist will share your spiritual beliefs about marriage and the importance of making a lifelong commitment. You will find support for your desire to build a loving, Bible-based marriage based on your deepest beliefs.

ReGain: The best option for pre-engagement counseling for many couples

ReGain is the largest online site devoted specifically to couples counseling. The therapists on its network specialize in every aspect of marriage and family counseling. If you are looking for help at any stage of your relationship journey, you can find it here.

Couples of all genders, orientations and beliefs are welcome at ReGain. You can register as a couple, or one of you can register and let your partner join later.

How ReGain works

To work with a ReGain counselor, take the quick, easy online questionnaire. The computer will match you with a qualified therapist in just a few hours.

One of ReGain’s advantages is its flexibility. Once you begin working with a counselor, you can choose the level of involvement you want. At times, you may want long, in-depth conversations. At others, you may want quick answers to your questions or a brief online chat. You choose the pace of your involvement and the type of communication you prefer.

The ReGain platform supports live online chat, telephone calls, video calls and use of a virtual “room” that is available 24-7. In the room, you can ask questions or post comments from any internet-connected device. Your therapist can read your comments and use them in counseling you.

ReGain has a website packed with informative articles about relationships, therapy and associated topics. All articles are free.

Cost of ReGain

ReGain is subscription-based. You will pay $60 to $90 a week depending on your location and other factors. Billing is monthly to a credit card or PayPal. You can cancel any time.

Is ReGain the best option for online pre-engagement counseling?

ReGain is one of the best sites for any type of relationship counseling. Other online counseling sites may be larger or better known, but we recommend ReGain because of its unique service as a couples-focused site.

These counselors specialize in helping couples of all kinds and at all stages of their relationship. You will find some of the best marital therapists in the country here, and their help is available in a convenient, affordable format. If a Christian belief is important to you, however, Faithful Counseling is the best option.

Face your future with online pre-engagement counseling

Pre-engagement counseling can help clarify your feelings about marriage and your partner. Talking with a counselor can help you express your feelings, understand your partner and strengthen your future marriage. Give yourselves the best chance of a long, happy life together. Online therapy at Faithful Counseling or ReGain is a convenient, affordable alternative to traditional therapy. Start your happy future today.

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/family-qa/pre-engagement-counseling/

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-my-husband-and-i-chos_b_8135386

About the Author

Laure

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2004- MS, psychology- Walden University, Minneapolis, MN